Dates give you the runs...Did you say dating makes you run?

"Let me ask you a question. What the heck is dating anyway except some long, drawn out process of elimination where you both try to present your best side while hiding the real you. And that can only last about three months anyway because eventually it leaks out and then you have to spend the next three months getting to know your real selves. And then one of you wants a commitment, the other one wants to bail and then you have to start all over again. I mean dating...dating...dating is stupid!" -Fools Rush In

My thoughts exactly! There's a reason why they call it the dating "game", because it's a game! Girls take it too seriously, guys don't take it seriously enough, and in the end, everyone is just confused and frustrated. Occasionally someone wins in this game, but those instances are few and far between. And as if dating isn't bad enough, guys don't even ask girls on dates anymore. We've been sentenced to "hanging out". The most noncommittal form of socialization between the sexes possible. Granted, it is fun, but it goes absolutely nowhere. Guys don't mean anything by it, and we girls read too much into it. It's like a guy patting you on the back when he hugs you. Sure he hugged you, but he also patted you on the back like he would his grandmother...you can't glean much affection from such an exchange, nor can you from hanging out. The problem is, nobody has a solution. We kind of just have to put our big girl panties of and deal with it cupcakes...

She's got a great personality

So me and my friends are sitting around one night and we're talking about this guy (To protect the identity of this poor sap, we'll call him Chad...mostly just because I love that name). Anyways, we're talking about Chad and how hot he is, and how much I like him, and all that good stuff when someone brings up the point that when guys have a great personality it makes them like ten times hotter! So we continue our conversation about hunky Chad and then something occurs to me...When girls talk about guys, anytime you say "he's got a great personality" the response goes something like *giggle, giggle* "Yeah, he's totally hot!" However, and herein lies one of the great injustices of being a girl, when guys are talking about girls and someone says "she's got a great personality" the response goes something like *collective wincing* "EW!" Why?! Them having an awesome personality only makes them cuter, but when we do, it automatically makes us ugly? Where's the justice in that? Nowhere, because there is none...

Ding dong, the bells are gonna chime

Let's run through a hypothetical. Jill is out one day doing whatever it is she may be doing and quite unexpectedly runs into an attractive stranger named Jack. Jack is great. He's cute, he's fun, and he's got loads of personality. Jack is an all around good guy. Not only that, but Jack is very attentive. He flirts with Jill, makes her feel cute, and gives her the time of freaking day. So, what does Jill think? He likes me! And why shouldn't she feel like that? Jack is sending all the right signals. He's saying things only interested guys say, doing things only interested guys do, he's acting interested. He calls her things like 'babe' and 'cutie', and to Jill (and every other girl on the planet) he seems like he likes Jill. So Jill, being a typical girl puts herself in a certain mindset. The mindset of the pursued. Jill tries out Jack's last name with hers. She waits longingly for phone calls and/or texts from Jack. She talks excitedly to her girlfriends about Jack. Sound familiar? Well Jill, STOP! Jack means nothing by any of this. Jack is a guy. They send these signals out without realizing that we girls will pick up on them. And then once we read these signals the way they, technically, should be read, and begin to act on them, they run away wondering, why do girls always take everything we do and turn it into some 'clue' that we like them? Well, I'll tell you Jack! Because that's how you put it out there. If you didn't act like you're interested in Jill, Jill won't think you're interested. It's not Jill, Jack. It's you...

Barnacles

Barnacle ('stalk-er) male 1: has amazing ability to glom onto females 2: pays so much attention to one particular girl that other guys think she's taken, causing girl to get desperate and issue a restraining order 3: in times of famine or miracle, aforementioned girl might go for said Barnacle. -Stephanie Fowers, Meet your Match.

Ahh! The Barnacle. The bane of the young, single female's existence! And yet, they have been permeating society from the beginning of dating! We can't get rid of them! Much like the underside of an oil tanker, they latch onto hapless young women with a vengeance, creating innumerable difficulties for poor, innocent, defenseless girls. There's no way to fight these guys off because they somehow just don't get it! "Hints" mean nothing to them. You can outright tell these guys you have no interest whatsoever in them, but do they back off? Of course not! And because they're so attentive, other normal guys somehow get in their minds that the feeling is mutual, thus backing off altogether. And where does this leave us? Desperate! And as a result, we are sentenced to either being alone, or trying to convince ourselves that well...maybe he's not that bad...

Why is it...

I consider myself to be a relatively normal young woman. I practice good hygiene. I am considered by many to be somewhat humorous. I am a good, sane, ambitious individual. So, with that in mind, I can only help but wonder...Why is it that weird, thoroughly psychotic, physically unappealing men tend to flock to, chase down, and even stalk us single, relatively normal young women? While on the other hand, fun, attractive, normal men flee from us like we've all contracted the plague...