The few, The proud, The B.S.

There's a few of us, we're proud, and it's all a bunch-o-B.S. I'm not talkin' about the Marines girls, I'm talkin' about us! THE SINGLE! The Marines are lucky in comparison! They have guns. And while some of us may have those too, they're aloud to use them! So let's dissect this: The few. That's right, it would seem we're going extinct. Our breed is slowly dying off, ruthlessly being taken out by the wiley ways of determined poachers hidden beneath the guise of being gentle young men. It's guerrilla warfare. They're ruthless and bold and only the strong survive! Hence our pride! It's a classic case of survival of the fittest. We've survived the mad feeding frenzy so often confused with what the weak call the "dating game." We should be proud! We don't need men to make us happy! We are strong, capable, confident, independent....lonely women. Which leads me to my next point. We may be proudly few in number, but it also sucks like no other. While they are annoyingly pig headed and immature, they're also hot and sweet and adorably manly. I know, right? I'm whistling a slightly different tune this time around. I don't hate all of them!...just most of them...

In the Jungle

Welcome to BYU-'I do'! Birthplace of the mighty Love Jungle! Population: Some astronomical number of overly lovey-dovey couples, and even larger amount of disgusted single people. BYU-'I do' boasts stunning displays of public affection, including but not limited to: intense make out sessions, frolicking about clinging to one another's hands, and last, but certainly not least, that adorable cuddling we all like to see! As one might imagine, BYU-'I do' subjects it's residents to sickening displays of love, sappy infatuation, and eternal happiness! It comes with the territory! However, BYU-'I do' is not for the faint of heart or the weak in stomach. Such displays may cause: Nausea, annoyance, heart break, vomiting, bitterness, and a general lack of faith in people's ability to remain sane while under the influence of attraction. One word of warning: Don't stand too close, our sappy love might rub off on you!